🗣 Allyship: A Real Love Language

🎉 Yo! We are back at the weekly office party, where everyday feels like #casualFridays. Dropping mics and sounding off.

🤎 Happy Valentine’s Day to all who celebrate today. We are officially one month until my birthday [mark your calendars LOL].

💐 Real talk on a Wednesday. I appreciate every reader rocking with me. It means the world that you take the time to listen to my hot takes, rants, real moments down memory lane, optimism wrapped in a creative bow. I am grateful, and I’m giving you all your flowers today.

Alright, maybe it’s because URSHER, Jon, and Luda had to do it again - but Lovers and Friends is playing over and over in my head today. If you are still in your time capsule of nostalgia, check out the Usher Essentials playlist after you read this newsletter.

When we shift to see others through the lens of the human being vs. human doing - we unlock a special side of connection. 

🗣 Special Sound Off: I had an amazing conversation with Dana Whiteaker, who helped me unpack the ways I was not only showing up for others, but showing up for my damn self. Check out her transformative coaching here.

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⛽️ Fueling creativity + community + connections ⛽️

We don’t need no fake allyship ‘round these parts.

Allyship is defined as ‘active support for the rights of a minority or marginalized group without being a member of it.’ What this means to me is people who actually care about the lifelong process of building relationships based on trust, consistency, and accountability.

Allyship traits that show up in IRL:

• Empathy

• Openness to learning

• Advocacy for equitable spaces

• A builder

• A truth teller

• An active participant against system inequalities

You want to know a huge reason why allyship is so important for marginalized groups? It’s because we are EXHAUSTED and that’s OK to say. We are tired of teaching, being the first, being the only, and leaning into the cloak of resiliency as a go-to solution. It’s fair to say that we want real (read: not performative) allies to show up and show OUT.

Disclaimer: When we mention showing up, it doesn’t necessarily mean grand gestures inside and outside of the workplace. These actions can be incremental, small changes, that may even start as casual conversations. True allies know how to be the voice for us who aren’t in the rooms. PERIOD.

Why am I so passionate about allyship these days? Let’s get real.

I’ve been on the receiving end of racism, while also navigating the nuances of colorism. Having a Black mother and Hispanic father posed its own set of challenges. My family always made me feel loved and seen, but as I got older I started to see where this wave of shelter wouldn’t shield me from the real world elements.

In the workplace, you can imagine the barriers that gave me my first glimpse of the lack of allyship. I was told I wasn’t good enough by privileged women. I overheard racial slurs, but was met with ‘hey we aren’t talking about you of course’. Outside of the workplace, I was told I wasn’t fit to be a real girlfriend because I wasn’t fluent in Spanish and had a Black mother. NOW IMAGINE HEARING ALL THIS IN HIGH SCHOOL and what that does as you’re trying to build your voice, self-esteem, and overall confidence.

Despite the challenges and hurdling through the never-ending onset of microaggressions (no you cannot touch my hair), I finally got a preview of what real allyship could look like.

👀 When it’s done right.

I had two people (I like to think of them as mentors) in Corporate America that saw my strengths before I could recognize any of my real potential. One was a women that was climbing the ranks in HR and was highly respected. Another was a man who was also an HR Executive and always pushed me to the forefront with other Executives. They both challenged me while making sure I didn’t feel invisible anymore. I was positioned as a thought leader through their advocacy, and they gave credit where credit was due.

Allyship has a beautiful way of:

• Supporting workplace environments that value and respect differences.

• Boosting employee morale, satisfaction and productivity.

• Driving social change and equity in/out of the workplace.

• Leading paths to personal development and increased awareness.

• Creating more innovation through diverse talent.

👀 When it’s done wrong.

What close-minded individuals in the workplace don’t quite get is the negative impact of a lack of allyship. This mindset doesn’t serve anyone, and doesn’t constitute for a sustainable success story in business (but y’all gonna learn eventually). While I understand, in some cases, their own ignorance is the blocker for this path forward - it’s never too late to reframe old programming.

A lack of allyship is a breeding ground for isolation, inadequacy, and feeling undervalued. It not only destroys employee morale and culture, it begins to rip away the pathway to business outcomes. This will not work in 2024 and beyond.

✋🏽 Lynae Vanee served up a timely message on Instagram recently. ‘The playing field cannot be even until it is equitable’. BOOM.

🪴 we could all use [ALLYSHIP] affirmations, right?

Want to be an ally and wondering where to start? Grab an affirmation below.

1️⃣ I will actively listen and amplify the voices of others.

2️⃣ I will commit to knowing that change starts with individual acts of courage.

3️⃣ I pledge to speak up against injustice and bias in the workplace, even when it's uncomfortable.

4️⃣ I am open to learning from the experiences of others, recognizing that empathy is the heart of allyship.

5️⃣ I embrace the responsibility of calling out discrimination and prejudice in my circles, knowing that silence is complicity. (!!!!!)

6️⃣ I understand that my voice can be a powerful tool for change.

🎙 time to sound off in HR/People Operations.

As People leaders, we can play a crucial role in cultivating a workplace culture where allyship is prioritized. This is where creative strategy comes into play with a focus on training programs, mentorship opportunities, and improved mechanisms for feedback.

Of course we can continuously audit our policies and practices, but at the same time it’s imperative to ask yourself ‘how am I showing up through disruptive compassion’? How are we encouraging open dialogue alongside providing resources + support?

We can educate and empower others to be active contributors that believe in the mission.

While there are many layers to allyship, please know it is a VERB and REQUIRES ACTION.

⚡️QUICKSTRIKE HR SOUND BITES

The HR/People Operations landscape is evolving. As the HR World Turns 🌎 could be its own show. Check out some of the happenings below.

• I went on a fun Linkedin rant about Usher and how the intersection of Marketing + HR is a perfect union to learn from.

• Self-care and an HR Safe Space? A match made in heaven. Hurry and tap in here for all the details on how you could win. 🧖🏽‍♀️

• I jumped into the Leaders Lens with the homie Jacob Espinoza to put one of my favorite movies under the microscope. Tune in as we pull out the gems from New Jack City. A classic! Stay tuned.

👟 SNEAKER INDUSTRY SOUND BITES

Some HR people may like pilates and shopping trips to Ulta. You could say my thing is sneakers + streetwear. If you enjoy sneaker culture - this section is for you.

• I love the color orange and am trying to wear more browns. This WMNS Dunk High has the perfect pop to compliment my pre-Spring season color palette.

• Are brands delivering on their promises to Black people? Read about it here.

🗣 COMMUNITY SOUND BITES

Supporting the small biz/brand owner is important to me. Each newsletter, I’ll introduce you to some talented people in my network and beyond.

• Black Women Owned is a platform that is creating an ecosystem to amplify, support, and provide visibility for businesses to thrive.

🎧 A SONG I DIDN’T SKIP ON MY PLAYLIST TODAY

There was a surge of us elder Millennials rushing to Youtube to watch the Usher videos after the Super Bowl. Could you blame us? 😂

I almost got emotional when I saw Alicia Keys on the piano. How could you not love this duo?

Remember: If you need someone to be your accountability partner and/or hypewoman - I got you. I’ve met with almost two dozen talented people [over the last quarter] to vibe on career aspirations, creative projects, and cool kicks. 👟👟

This space is for y’all.

Next week we are tackling a different duo that was all about - standing on business. 😉